i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
