thus making me awesome and them whores
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
