can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
