...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
