so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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