we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
