Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
