Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Did I show you my penis last night?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
