Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
