Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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