Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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