I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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