How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
