Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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