You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I did not marry a roomba.
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