he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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