from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
