I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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