I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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