Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize