That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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