I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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