I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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