when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
