I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
