All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
