OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
