I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
