I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
