This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
