Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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