You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
