before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
