i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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