I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
