I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
