I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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