So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
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at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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