he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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