DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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