we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
