im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
