I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
