Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
