she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
