:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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