it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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