I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
