How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
