Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize