Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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