you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
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handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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