I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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