I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
