sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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