Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are we in a gay sports bar?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
