I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
