woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
